Being Better vs. Just Being
It’s a wonderful thing to always strive to be a better person. And yet sometimes just being is enough.
Over the past few years there has been an explosion in self-help articles, books, quotes and podcasts encouraging us to be our best selves and live our best lives. I am an avid listener to these podcasts and enjoy reading the latest self-improvement books and articles. There are some wonderful things we can learn and implement in our lives from listening to the latest research, advice and experience.
And yet there are times when these “encouraging suggestions” can make us feel overwhelmed, hopeless and completely discouraged. This little self-improvement nugget (with the big red cross through it!) made the rounds online over the past few months and suggests that if we don’t come out of the pandemic a “better person”, we must lack discipline. Unfortunately this demonstrates a lack of empathy and neglects to acknowledge that the global pandemic has affected us all in extremely different ways. During this time, some people have seen their businesses thrive (Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos’s net worth grew by $US75 billion in 2020!) and many have loved having more time at home with family. On the other hand, countless people across the world have found themselves out of a job, suffered financially, struggled mentally, or lost loved ones. Although we’ve all been in the same storm, we’ve certainly not been in the same boat.
Our different capacities to grow and improve at different times throughout our lives is not just true during a global pandemic, but on a day-to-day basis. There are absolutely times when we feel energised and ready to take on change. You might be there right now, and feel you have the capacity to take on a little more, try something new, or push your limits. You may have decided that you are going to say yes to the new role you have been offered at work, sign up for the Fit My Day June Fitness Challenge, learn the piano, or finally read the book that’s been sitting on your bedside table all year. There are other times when it’s all you can do to keep your head above water and you simply need to bunker down and get through daily life.
Our ability to learn and grow is not so much about time as it is about capacity. Contrary to what the quote above implies, having a lot of spare time is not all that is required for growth and change. Often it’s when someone is at their busiest that they are most open to development and self-improvement. Opportunities for growth are far more dependant on what is happening in our own world than whether we have surplus time available to us.
There is one final twist in this tale of being better vs. just being. Some would suggest that when we are feeling overwhelmed we should tap into the self-help world to help us out of the spiral. And yet will this only end up increasing our feeling of overwhelm? The answer is, we don’t really know. My thought would be to first reach for the things that might help you feel better, such as fitting in some exercise, listening to uplifting podcasts, and meeting up with supportive friends. And yet also allow for those periods when you need to step to the side for a moment and catch your breath. Often giving yourself a break will help you come back stronger and better than ever.
It can be incredibly powerful to push yourself out of your comfort zone and try to “be better”. But there are also times when it’s perfectly fine to “just be”. Remember those times will not last, and in fact may lead to meaningful learning, growth and change.
By Angie Black
ANGIE BLACK
BLOG CATERGORIES:
